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Love and Resentment During a Pandemic

One of the benefits of practicing self-compassion is that it becomes easier to let go of grievances–the ones that we hold against ourselves and others. It’s still hard- to do– a lifelong practice–but one of the most worthy goals we can strive for, I think.

How to be Unsuccessful

Screen Shot 2020-04-15 at 12.29.36 PMLast year I read a book called Perfect Love,Imperfect Relationships.  The book had a profound effect on me then, and I keep thinking about it now during this crisis.  We all have obsessions, and psychology is one of mine.  I guess along with more time for one another we now have more time for our obsessions too.

The author of Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships, John Welwood, says that we’re all essentially searching for a kind of “perfect love” that is not really available in human relationships.  Essentially, we want someone to love us all the time and never let us down.  So until we learn to experience love on our own, we will always end up disappointed.

Welwood also extensively describes what he calls “un-love”.  When we are rejected or disappointed or ignored, we feel this un-love.  We learn to resent other people for making us feel this way. …

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About Christy Barongan

I didn't know it at the time, but I wanted to be a psychologist so that I could figure out how to be normal. I think many people come to counseling for the same reason. What I've come to learn is that feeling good about myself is not about trying to be normal. It's about trying to be me. But it's a constant struggle for me, just like it is for everyone else. So I thought I would approach this task with openness and honesty and use myself as an example for how to practice self-acceptance.

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