You Know You’re Filipino if…

When I was younger, I was embarrassed by all of the things that my family did that were rooted in being Filipino–especially because other kids in school were quick to point out that these things were not “normal.”

For example, most of my friends took baths with floating toys like rubber duckies. Based on TV commercials, I could tell adults took showers. In my family, we filled a small basin of water and took a “bath” from that. Once a week. The frequency is not unusual even in countries like Europe. But very weird in the U.S.

I remember when I went to visit my extended family in the Philippines when I was 22 and my cousin said that you could tell that we were American because we smelled good. I think she meant it in a nice way, but it was also way of saying that Americans can’t stand the scent of their own bodies and disguise it in as many ways as possible. By taking showers frequently, by using deodorant, scented lotion, perfumes. Even deodorant trees in our cars.

Once I became aware of this discrepancy between basin bathing and real bathing, I told my mom I wanted to take baths. The conversation would go something like this:

Me:  I want to start taking baths. All my friends are doing it.

Mom:  No. That’s a waste of water.

Me:  But you want me to fill the sink with water when I do dishes instead of letting the water run. Isn’t that like giving the dishes a bath?

Mom:  No. You just wet the dishes, soap them up, and rinse them off. No dish bath either.

Me:  What about showers? I learned in school that they take less water than baths.

Mom:  No. Still wasting too much water.

Once we went to the Philippines on an emergency visa when I was five. Our grandfather was sick, and he wanted to see us before he died. Although he was on my dad’s side of the family, I could see how the shower situation was similar to bathing from a basin. There was no bathtub or shower head. No sliding shower doors or towel racks. Just an empty room with a drainage hole on the floor. So maybe to my mom, all that extra stuff in our bathroom in our new house was just unnecessary upgraded features.

She feels that way about cars, too. Those darn automatic windshield wipers!

Shortly after refusing me 3 times, I realized that my mom couldn’t stop me from taking a shower. So I started doing it anyway. I even made this big announcement to my brothers. They were like, what’s wrong with Christy? Why does she want to take a shower more than once a week? What’s the obsession with the shower head? What’s wrong with just doing things the way that we’ve always done them?

Now I realize the answer is, nothing. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to save water. Especially if water is a precious commodity where you come from.

These days I take pride in these shared experiences. I’m sure my Filipino friends and family could come up with more items, but this is what came to mind just now off the top of my head:

• Catholic home decor like a picture of the Last Supper in the dining room and the Nativity Scene in the yard at Christmas
• kitchens with a gigantic spoon and fork for decor
• food eaten with your fingers, or scooping up bites with a spoon and fork
• rice, garlic, soy sauce, and fish sauce (patis), Mang Tomas, and sweet chili sauce as food staples
• fish with body intact, including head
• roasted pig (lechon) with body intact, including head
• a Karaoke machine with at least 2 microphones and a long list of people who want to sing
• gigantic woven mats big enough for an entire family of 6 to sleep on
• floor space large enough for line dancing in between singing Karaoke and lots of dancers
• lots of uncles and aunts who you aren’t actually related to and you may not even know their names

Recently I met up with one of my Filipino friends for our annual get-together and she said that she was looking for a gigantic spoon and fork for her kitchen. What a great idea! Instead of comfort food, it’s sort of like comfort decor.

Maybe I can ask my parents to give me a set for Christmas.