One of the benefits of practicing self-compassion is that it becomes easier to let go of grievances–the ones that we hold against ourselves and others. It’s still hard- to do– a lifelong practice–but one of the most worthy goals we can strive for, I think.
Last year I read a book called Perfect Love,Imperfect Relationships. The book had a profound effect on me then, and I keep thinking about it now during this crisis. We all have obsessions, and psychology is one of mine. I guess along with more time for one another we now have more time for our obsessions too.
The author of Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships, John Welwood, says that we’re all essentially searching for a kind of “perfect love” that is not really available in human relationships. Essentially, we want someone to love us all the time and never let us down. So until we learn to experience love on our own, we will always end up disappointed.
Welwood also extensively describes what he calls “un-love”. When we are rejected or disappointed or ignored, we feel this un-love. We learn to resent other people for making us feel this way. …
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