Finding a tennis partner is a lot like dating. There’s this nervousness and excitement about asking someone to play with you, wondering whether they like your game, and whether they want to enter a tennis relationship. As with dating, some people don’t like to commit to a single partner and get upset if you play around. Other people will only play competitively with you. I can fall on either side, depending on who the player is.
Once my friend set me up with one of her colleagues who was a really good tennis player. He was a 4.5 and I am a 3.5 and we were going to play an 8.0 mixed team together. The first time we practiced I was really nervous about whether he thought my game was any good. I got hit in the eye pretty badly by our opponent so I wasn’t really able to play my best tennis. Plus I was worried about whether I was going to have to go to the eye doctor the next day so I was a wee bit distracted.
Afterwards I tried to get the scoop from my friend: Did he like me? Did he ask about me? Did he think I was any good? Unfortunately, we did not win any matches during the season so I don’t think he had that much fun and he never asked me to play again. I wasn’t too upset because he really was out of my league. Literally.
In many cases, spouses do not make good tennis partners. Usually the husband has high expectations for how he believes his wife should play, and this tends to get expressed as criticism on the court. Then the wife will get mad and tell the husband to worry about his own game. In fact, it’s often a useful strategy when playing a married couple to try to get them to fight during the match.
I used to try to play with my ex socially, even though my friends discouraged me from doing so even if we were in Mexico and he had to play every day and I was the only person who could possibly play with him. I guess they were right, because by the end of the week I was crying. And like baseball, there should be no crying in tennis.
He was clever enough to give me the name of my mixed doubles team which was full of couples. He wasn’t on my team, of course. After his suggestion, we were forever known as Mixed Troubles.
While tennis divorces are not as painful as real divorces, they can cause hurt and angry feelings and potentially end the friendship. Often tennis marriages end when one player moves up in rating, the pair goes on a long losing streak because now they are less competitive, or one partner cheats on the other partner by playing in a tournament and/or league with someone else.
I once had a tennis divorce when my partner moved up to 4.0. While we dominated at 7.0, I was not good enough to hold my own at 8.0. He started to get frustrated with my game and was asking me to make shots that I didn’t possess at the time. I told him I thought we should both try to find someone stronger to play with and he was surprised and hurt by this. After some tense conversations, we were able to part on good terms.
Because I live in a small town, you pretty much know everyone’s game and who is involved in a tennis relationship. But if you live in a big city, it might be nice to have a tennis dating website that could help you find a partner. It could be called tennismatch.com and the slogan could be: we’ll help you find a winning partnership.
My description might go something like this:
Female 40 and over player with a 3.5 rating looking for a mixed doubles partner to compliment my game. I’m a lefty with a great backhand and serve and I am crafty with my use of spins and lobs. I prefer the baseline and play great defense but I am comfortable at the net and will put the ball away when I have the chance. I like a partner who demonstrates good sportsmanship, has a positive attitude on the court, and never stops fighting for the win. Must be willing to eat out after the match, win or lose.
That makes me sound like an appealing partner, don’t you think?
