Last week on September 24 my blog turned 12. I have learned a lot about myself, relationships, human nature, love, and life through blogging. But that wasn’t the reason why I started my blog. If you’ve been reading it since I started it, then you already know that I started a blog because I wanted to write a book. But no one had ever read any of my writing, so I didn’t even know if I was any good at it.
Well, now I feel pretty confident that I can write in a way that sounds like me. I’m less focused on being good than I am on being authentic. And my posts are definitely authentic. Thank goodness you have to take a deep dive through hundreds of posts to know what all my flaws are. And for those of you who have done so, thank you for letting me know how helpful it was to hear about my flaws rather than judging me for them. I had no idea that I would be helping so many other people in the process of learning how to be vulnerable, as Brené Brown suggested in Daring Greatly.
Since my hip surgery, I have unconsciously been doing things that have been moving me closer to writing my book. First, instead of resting during that first week after surgery, I was asked to write an article for an online magazine on any topic of my choosing. So of course I chose mindfulness. And since my family was taking care of me at the time, I read the article to them to get feedback from people who knew nothing about mindfulness. My sister-in-law was especially helpful in terms of the questions she asked me about practicing mindfulness.
In the second week of recovery, because working full time 2 weeks after surgery was not enough productivity for my drill sergeant and inner critic, I also started making short videos of the epiphanies I was having about my recovery. All of the epiphanies are rooted in mindfulness and self-compassion, not surprisingly. I thought making videos might also be helpful in securing an actual assignment as a UGC creator.
The third thing that happened is by the 5th week of recovery I hit a wall. I had been working more than I did before hip surgery and was pushing myself on the weekends socially and physically. I realized that it was my blog anniversary last week and I was still struggling to practice self-care and set boundaries–2 of the major topics I blogged about. This epiphany made me step up my game and finally give myself permission to move to 4 days a week in January 2026. That way, I won’t have enough hours in the week to say yes to everyone.
Part of what enabled me to do this is that, despite taking a lot of days off and having a lot of medical bills, I was still able to pay all my bills without using any savings. I think I might have even added a little to savings. So I finally got God’s message: I don’t have to worry about money.
The final sign that I’m ready to write my book came while I was reading “The Let Them Theory.” So many of my clients have mentioned the book and said they found it helpful. And I can see why it’s helpful. It simplifies one of the basic tenets of mindfulness practice, which is called equanimity. The mantra for equanimity is “may we all accept things as they are.” This means 2 things: 1) accept the ups and downs of life, our moods, our successes and failures; and 2) accept that although we may want people to change, we can’t take responsibility for their behavior.
So “let them” eat junk food and watch TV all day. And “let me” learn to regulate my own emotions about losing them to a heart attack. I have recommended the book to many clients since reading it, and I recommend that you read it, too, if you find it hard to let go of controlling other people.
Although I liked the book for my clients, for me personally, I recognized that the Let Them theory is not really a theory. It’s more of a mantra. She admits in the book that she came up with the phrase and found it helpful. Then, after the fact, she found experts who could tell her why it’s helpful and mentioned them briefly in the book. As a psychologist, I prefer books that are rooted in theory and/or research, like The Anxious Generation, which I also highly recommend if you’re wondering why going on social media makes you feel like crap but you doom scroll for hours a day, anyway.
Plus, the goals she suggested in the book are often materialistic and superficial in nature. Which is fine, in that people can set whatever goals they want. I admit, when I first had the idea of writing a book, I wanted fame and fortune. I think that’s why I wasn’t ready to write it. Because those weren’t the appropriate goals for me. I’ve never prioritized making money. I often regret that I didn’t prioritize it, and because I didn’t, that’s why I’m always worried about money. But the truth is, I know what my purpose is. It’s to help people.
For me, mental health isn’t about being sick. People need therapy because life is hard and full of trauma and tragedy. We need help in identifying our values, having some kind of spiritual practice, prioritizing play and creativity, and learning how to love and be loved.
What I am meant to do in this lifetime is help more people find their purpose without having to see each of them individually in therapy. So once I start my 4 day work week, I will start writing my book, which will be called something like How to Practice Mindfulness in Everyday Life.
If you’re interested in watching the videos I’m making, I’m including the latest one below because it’s probably the one that best shows my personality–unatheltically athletic, determined, goofy, and relentlessly optimistic.
Oh, and feel free to follow my Instagram page as well, so that you’ll know when to buy the book!
